There’s a lot of conversation in social media lately about reparenting yourself so that you can live a much more psychologically healthy life. Many millennials and the eldest of the Gen-Z are starting to have children of their own, and with the stigma around therapy dying down, this demographic is learning more about what they don’t want to pass on to the next generations. Even if you don’t want to raise children, Matt Teeple suggests that you may benefit from practicing methods of reparenting in your own life.
What is Reparenting? According to Matthew Teeple
Reparenting is a process in which you, as an adult, give yourself all that you think you didn’t receive as a child. It could be in the form of love, gifts, or support. It involves being mindful of your inner dialogue and ensuring that you bring more compassion to yourself to be kinder to those around you.
This practice can do wonders for your healing, which is why so many psychologists recommend the activity in therapy.
Ways to Reparent Yourself as an Adult
There are some major practices that you can do to reparent yourself as an adult:
1. Keep Promises That You Make to Yourself
If our parents couldn’t or wouldn’t keep their promises, then as a child, we learn that we may not be worthy of care and attention. It can be a tiny promise, like painting your nails or buying yourself chocolate but keep that promise to remind yourself that you are worthy of a commitment. Pick an activity that adds to your cup and makes you feel worthy, and make sure you do it every day to teach your subconscious that your needs matter.
2. Become Aware of Your Childhood and Unmet Needs
You can’t find solutions to certain things until you know your problems. Often, we want to gloss over the lack that we may have felt as children, but the first step to reparenting is utterly understanding your wounds. If you know the places you lack love, you may apply love in the right areas. Journalling your hurts throughout the day or week, can explain to you the places where you need to work.
3. Learn to Sit with Your Feelings
When we feel emotional, we often respond by running away from that feeling. Matthew Teeple says it may be wiser to sit with our feelings and hold space for them to exist instead. We cannot get on the road to being more emotionally healthy if we neglect or demonize our emotions as our parents did. Reparenting is an act of being much more kind to us when facing negative emotions.
4. Learn to Think For Yourself
As children, we may have taken on the feelings of the adults in our lives. However, your adulthood is a time when you can learn and think for yourself and about yourself. If you feel that actions are no longer serving you, you may not want to engage in them. If a human makes you feel bad about yourself, you don’t have to converse with them. Reparenting yourself as an adult gives you more choices in life.
Final Thoughts by Matt Teeple
Reparenting yourself is an ongoing task, but there is a point in your life when you must make that decision. Many people who continue to live according to the whims of other people find themselves deeply happy or unsatisfied later in life.